Fear of Greatness

Yoga has a way of unlocking our buried thoughts and feelings. Or, putting the view of ourselves into greater focus. Fear is one of my feelings that need intense examining. I need to uncover my fear from piles of clean clothes, unwashed dishes and scattered papers with bits and pieces of different dreams and ideas. Put it under a magnifying glass. Not to over analyze but put into focus. 

I have a fear of greatness. A fear of the amazingly worthy unknown before me. How does one fear success? Fear the life they think about daily; daydream living the perfect existence? It's unfamiliar territory. As humans we naturally fear what we don't know. 

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During a amazing Candlelight Yoga on January 1st ( a great way to start the new year!) at my home studio, a thought crossed my mind. What if I taught yoga? What if I used asana as the vehicle to seep my words into the souls of others as my teachers do? What if I was in front of a class of 40 reminding them what they are there for. Encouraging them to attempt a pose slightly feared because they now know they are better for it. 

Fear strikes! What about money for teacher training? What about my weak arms? Can I tell them what they need to know? How can I be a leader to others as I struggle to lead myself? 

Money can be saved. Arms can be strengthened (I never thought I could chatarunga!). Knowledge is learned and everyone has the ability to lead if it's from the heart. When thought of this way, I'm left with excuses. Left with fearful words to slow or stop progress into a successful unknown. 

Let me break down this phrase "successful unknown". The fear comes from "unknown". But why? It's successful! When you're used to living a certain lifestyle, happy or not, it's difficult to change. What's the solution? Turn the unknown into the known. 

Instead of "What about money?" claim, "I'm going to have X amount of money by X." My arms aren't weak. They are progressively growing stronger. I can tell others what they need to know by passing on what I know. It's all you can do anyway. Leading from the heart, others will follow my love, truth and search for connection. 

I suppose, I don't fear greatness. I fear the unknown. I'll say, with the little I've already found out I know, what's really to fear?