There are so many times when I think that what is going to be the best experience, the best fun, is something bigger, better and has to be profound. In reality, sometimes the most simple things are the best things. Like right now, I am on my porch, outside, sitting at my laptop, listening to youtube and writing. I actually feel great. It's a beautiful day, the weather is nice, there is a slight breeze, lovely neighborhood, and I'm writing which is something I have needed to do for a while! It was so simple. Get yourself up Chelle, sit down, and write. My porch is free, outside is free, the breeze, the day, the expression is free and I am having an excellent time.
Why do we think there has to be something so crazy to make us happy? When did these notions of the bigger the better become the forefront of what can be fun or what living is about? When I was little, if I had two pencils of a different color, or size, or one dull one sharp, I had a blast! It was play time. They were two different characters and I was ready to go. I find it stunning how I was able to do that. Just about anything I had in my hands I was able to turn into something entertaining and fun. Now-a-days I feel there has to be something so much more beyond that! Beyond the beautiful day right outside my door, outside of my neighborhood. Don't get me wrong, there are other things out there. But if you can't get to those at the moment, like DMB says, Make the best of what's around. And why not? It's around you, its there. If you are not comfortable in your own space, how can you be comfortable anywhere else really? It's like being satisfied in your own skin. If you are not happy with yourself, how can you be happy with others?
It makes me think of the first Ashtanga class I took last week. After the class I literally felt like I was high or like the stereotypical relaxed satiated feeling of the best sex ever in some romance movie where the girl is walking around all whimsically. And I realized how simple what I was doing was. It was still work, but if you break it down, what was I doing? Breathing, and standing, sitting or bending in poses for 5 breathes, or more if I chose, each. I was sore for a few days after, which I love. I enjoy hurting good after a workout.
What amazed me was how High, and blissful and Truely Happy, I mean legitimetly happy I was once I got into savasana. I thought to myself, is this how some people feel All the time? Or even 90% of the time. I can't really put into words, it's a feeling of pure joy that you can feel inside your body. And I want it soo much again. I think I may be addicted.
It's bad. I actually think I skipped yoga this week because I couldn't do Ashtanga. And I had only done it once, that's the impact that experience had on me) I asked my teacher if she remember the poses I did, so I can practice them at home. I really want to see if I can feel that way again or if it was some sort of fluke. I also plan to go to some other Ashtanga classes. I just couldn't believe how simple breathing and posing was sooooo fullfilling!
Making the best of what's around is something I have struggled with for the past few years. It's something that everytime I do it, I think, why couldn't I do this before!? There is something in me that holds me back. I am ever so slowly breaking it down though. I can see who I really am. Remember who you really are, is always there, you just have to unbury who that person is. I am ever so close to touching fingers with here. I see her daily in my mind, but not in the mirror. One day, I plan to wake up, go to the mirror and say "There you are. Finally, on the outside."
Making the Best of What's around,
~Writer Yogi XOXO