Today, I decided to challenge myself. I decided instead of going to yoga practice this morning, I would practice sitting alone. Sit and breathe for 30 minutes! It was not perfect, oh but how I have learned from the experience. It made me think of articles I have read or things I've heard. It made me pay attention to what was happening.
Why is it so hard to sit alone? Because I am used to moving around so much. Or when I am sitting, I am doing something. Online, Netflix, Daydreaming, planning, whatever. It also brought something else to mind!
Sitting and breathing is not just a challenge for the mind,it's a challenge for the body as well!
From something like, my legs are cramping up, to I want to get up and do some asana. I was thinking about how to deal with these issues, why they were issues and what to do. As for cramping, well, no one wants that. The key is, to relieve the cramp but still stay still and get back to breath. I shifted many times. To get rid of some stiffness, trying to keep my feet from falling asleep. I was still determined to sit and breath after each movement, get back to breathing. This may seem minor but it isn't really. While I am figuring out how to sit, I may be focusing less on breathing. Or, one can find themselves ready to start experimenting with sitting poses (which I did for a small bit) and getting away from the main focus of being Still and Breathing! Ah, how tricky such little distractions are.
Also, I tend to want to do some asana after awhile. Which is fine, except for the fact, this, at least in my case, is my mind tricking me into thinking I want to do something with breath. In reality, it's my minds clever way to try t get me to get up, move around, move with breath instead of being still with it and really focusing in.
When I did decide to do some asana, I went into childs pose. Haha, take that fear of stillness! We both get something, my mind being afraid of stillness gets its asana, and I still get to breath and stop moving. (it never specifically asked for a vinyasa teehee).
To sum this all up, I was just pleasantly surprised to find sitting alone and being still a mind AND body exercise! Perhaps for others, it is not the same. For me, it was a challenge to not move, to not try different sitting poses, to not worry about how I was sitting and to just be pleased I am sitting and getting some air. It made me realized how bored I've been with myself.
I read somewhere boredom is from not being challenged. I am starting to see that now. When I am at yoga, I'm not hungry (until after, come on, we all are). When I am at home, milling around, I am pretty much always hungry. When I'm out and about doing errands, or going for a walk, I'm not bored or sluggish, because I am doing something. Or writing, when I really get into it, everything else just isn't even there. The world around is nowhere and the writing is everywhere.
I realized I was interested and happy for the challenges that have been arising from yoga. The mental puzzles, physical challenges, philosophy, health habits, body doing what you want it to, and not. Yoga makes me move, makes me stay still, makes me think, makes me try not to think. All with a purpose! Of going forward, seeing what is beyond where I am now because I literally feel inside myself that there is SO much more to me! There is a part of me just standing, face pressed to the glass like a kid staring into a candy store, tapping the glass, "Come on Chelle, come on...I am so ready!"
Ready for what you say? Well, you'll just have to wait and see! It's coming, I feel it in my chest. Those excited and drunken butterflies swirling around. Something great is coming and I'm sooo excited!
Namaste my friends,
~Writer Yogi
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